Internal Pride

My brother and I have had long conversations about internal pride.  We have a "Good Job!" mom.  When we did things to her satisfaction we were rewarded with, "Good Job!" This response was used for everything from a report card with all A's to helping clear the table after a meal.  My brother's position is that this actually affects the value that he put on his work.  He suggests that this gave him a jaded view of internal pride. Many of the things that he was told "Good Job!" for were things that weren't items that he found challenging or particularly "Good Job!" worthy.  

Our conversation went on for a while ending with that we appreciated being noticed.  The things and that the "Good Job!" was less meaningful than saying something like "I noticed you worked really hard at..." or I"I see that you....".  I don't disparage those of you who are "Good Job!"ers.  We all need to hear it from time to time.  I merely suggest that we take time to notice the wonderful things that children are doing.  And that we take the time to let them know that we notice them.  

The other day my heart was warmed when after I talked to Miles about a picture he made.  He used a few magnets to hang it in a prominent place on the fridge.  Maybe he would have had some pride in his work if I'd just told him, "Good Job!", but I'm not sure that it would have elicited this response...

When's the last time you noticed a child's work?